Paradox of Happiness

If you could just be happy, right?
But how do you get there? The path from a
troubled relationship to personal happiness is not so
simple, is it?

I was on the phone the other day
when a friend went to our house and confronted me

"I've got to get out of
this mess. I've got to find happiness for
ME."

In fact, it's quite common for people in an
unhappy relationship to think that happiness is just
on the other side of breaking up it's ironic. When
we're single, we'll be happy when we meet
someone. Once we're in a relationship, we think we'll be
happy when we're single.

But you know deep down, that you
can't be happy alone. Your life is meant to be
part of another life.

If you focus on YOUR happiness; happiness will
elude you. But if you focus on your relationship,
you'll find happiness for YOURSELF. In other
words, being happy is NOT the result of YOU
trying to be happy. It's the CONSEQUENCE of you
creating a successful relationship with your partner.

Pursuing happiness is like a boomerang; if it
comes back to YOU, then you've missed the target.

It's like good sex. Research shows that the more
you focus on having good sex, the more good sex
eludes you. The key to good sex is good physical
conditioning and a deep EMOTIONAL connection. In
other words, good sex is not something you
pursue; it's something that ensues.

It's the same with your happiness.
It's not something you pursue; it's something
that ensues from efforts that transcend yourself.

The hardest time to focus on relationship is
when you're frustrated with your partner. I know
that. I know you'd rather turn inward. But if you
do, you'll narrow your existence. You'll close
yourself in. You'll shield your pain (to some
extent), but you'll also turn your back on your
only hope.

You've got to turn and face the darkness in your
life. And I don't mean face it for
a couple of weeks and then give up because "it
didn't work." The key to most marital
circumstances is ENDURANCE. If took you years to
get yourself into this mess, it's going to take
more than a couple of weeks to get yourself out