Did you know that when a man stops "feeling it"
for you, he'll often decide he wants to LEAVE without warning or notice?
You might unfortunately already know this is true.
The reality is that a man can just give up on
you and your relationship without spending much
if any time figuring out what might be going on,
or how to make it work.
But it doesn't have to be this way.
There is one single thing you can do with a man
that will keep him from ever questioning his love
and desire to be with you.
Know what it is?
It's that magic emotion we call ATTRACTION.
Have you ever had a man tell you he's nothappy and wants to end your relationship?
And the more you tried to figure out why he
was unhappy and "fix" things... the further he
pushed you away.
You couldn't understand why in the world he
stopped loving and caring for you the way he
used to... and it made no sense at all.
And to add further frustration to the pain,
there really was no clear REASON WHY he stopped
feeling it for you and decided he wanted to
leave.
There was no single moment that you knew
changed things for him.
So it drove you crazy trying to figure out
what it really was that had changed the way
he felt about you.
Now... if you're like most women, this
situation has happened to you at least once
or twice in your life.
Or it may even be happening for you right
now.
Point is, you know how devastating it can
feel.
Well, the good news is that there is a whole
lot of LEARNING and GROWTH that can take place
in these moments (whether you believe it or not
right now).
And these are also often the moments that
start the process of CHANGE and TRANSFORMATION
towards a better life.
To help you get the most from these moments
in your life, and make sure you take away
the lessons you were meant to learn... consider
for a minute how you've dealt with situations like
this in the past.
You may have done some or all of the following
with a man when your relationship was falling
apart and he said he wanted to leave:
1) You tried to "rationalize" the situation and
tell him how good you think your relationship is,
and how he's wrong for not wanting it or seeing
all the amazing things about it. But this NEVER
helped.
2) You were sweeter and more affectionate, hoping
he'd reciprocate and open back up to you... but
all this did was annoy him.
3) The more hurt you felt, and the more he saw
this, the LESS he seemed to pay attention to
you and your feelings, or care. As a matter of
fact, he may have become colder and MORE distant
the more he saw that you were hurt.
4) You spent countless hours trying to TALK about
what you were both feeling and "work" on things.
But that only pushed him further away, no matter
how much reasoning or understanding you did when
it came to him, his feelings, and how to help
him be happy.
Recognize any of these responses in your
past?
If so, then believe it or not I have GOOD
NEWS for you.
Let me explain why this is good news:
You may have noticed a kind of "trend" going
on with all the common responses I listed above.
This "trend" goes something like this:
The HARDER you try with a man, and the more
you attempt to TALK things out with him... the
LESS RESPONSIVE and "emotionally available" he
becomes with you.
Fascinating.
If you're paying attention here, than you
should have some light bulbs going off inside
your head at this point.
Hopefully you're starting to recognize a
kind of PATTERN that has played out between
you and the man in your life in your past.
This is your first step - to discover this
PATTERN of your own... and keep CONSCIOUS of
it and how it's working AGAINST YOU with men.
Of course, when you start seeing these
patterns in your life more clearly, some
questions will quickly come up for you.
In those times when you've TRIED HARDER to
make things work with a man and put MORE LOVE
and ENERGY into a relationship when
he's pulled away... is the reason that it hasn't
worked for you because you're not SAYING the
right things?
Or could it be that what you were saying
didn't really matter, because he had his mind
already made up?
Important question.
Here's the truth:
If you've been close to a man, shared an
amazing level of love and connection - and
you know what you've shared is "real" - then
the reality is that when he pulls away from
you and tells you he's unhappy and unsure of
wanting to be with you...
On a "logical" level he has decided that
he would like to try and move on.
But on a deeper EMOTIONAL LEVEL, a man has
rarely made up his mind about not wanting to
leave if you're still close and he's at all
conflicted about things with you.
Deep down he still has that same place in
his heart that wants to connect with you and
share what you used to share - and would want
to do so again if things were "different" than
they've become.
After all, he felt strongly before. He wanted
to be with you before things went wrong.
Now, some women sense this kind of thing
where a man STILL HAS FEELINGS for them but is
saying that he wants to leave... because they
can sense it inside him INTUITIVELY, which
is great.
But here's the problem with this:
Instead of using this intuition to their
benefit... they actually end up SHOOTING
THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT with it by trying to
CONVINCE the man of what they can see INSIDE
HIM... and try and SHOW HIM how to get back
in touch with that place inside where he still
love and cares for them.
If you know much about how human behavior
works - or more importantly, about how men
respond and LISTEN - then you know that trying
to tell a man all the things YOU can see that
he CAN'T isn't a great way to approach things.
If you're like lots of other women who
have tried to "save" your relationship
unsuccessfully - then some or all of the 4
common responses I described above ring true
for you and didn't work out well.
You "went with your gut" and your intuition,
and tried to get a man to see all the things
YOU KNEW to be true about him and your
relationship.
But these weren't the things that HE was
able to hear or understand about you, about
himself, or about your relationship.
To make a long story short... it's important
to remember that even though you see the "truth"
of your situation and try to share it with a
man... this is YOUR TRUTH, and NOT HIS.
He has an entirely different perspective
all together.
Which is why trying to be the one to fix
your relationship by CONVINCING a man of what
YOUR INTUITION tells you doesn't often "resonate"
the same way for him the way it does for you
when you talk about what you're seeing and
feeling.
In fact, sharing your own intuition about
him and your relationship only makes him RESIST
YOU even more... and want to get farther away
from you and your old relationship.
WHY TRYING TO TALK THINGS THROUGH WITH HIM
ISN'T THE ANSWER
OK, so let's back up a bit, as I want to
show you something else critical that's going
on here for you with men...
Think back to the day you first had "the talk"
with a man where he admitted how he wasn't
into your relationship anymore:
"It's just not working."
"I love you. But I'm just not IN LOVE with
you anymore."
"I'm not happy."
"I need my space."
When a man said this... your first reaction
was probably -
"Let's talk about it. Let's make it better."
You probably had some "heavy" talks with him,
trying to figure out what went wrong and what
you could do to get the love back again.
The talks made you upset, and even angry at
times.
But you persisted because maybe you felt
if you could talk things through and make him
SEE how much you still cared for and loved him...
then he would of course realize that you were
"the one" for him.
Because at one time you had both shared such
a great connection that you were sure you could
get it back with "better communication", and by
figuring out what went wrong.
Or maybe you even suggested counseling - for
yourself or for both of you.
You laid yourself out on the line... willing
to DO and BE just about ANYTHING in order to
make things right again, the way they USED to be,
but better.
But he didn't want any part in any of this.
Your friends and family probably told you
that you were doing the right things, and that
relationships take "work"...
And that if he wasn't listening, opening up,
and "getting it"... then HE was the one to blame.
That he was the one being selfish and immature.
Some of these other reasons made you feel a
little bit better... but only for a moment.
It still didn't explain why, despite everything
you were doing to improve yourself and your
relationship... he was still getting MORE and
MORE distant and certain that he wanted to end
things with you.
Until finally he broke it off for good.
Ouch.
What if I were to suggest to you there was
a way to actually REVERSE the break up and
re-ignite his passion and feelings toward you that
brought you together in the first place?
And what if you could do this quickly and
easily... with a whole lot LESS EFFORT and
frustration?
The thing is... for all your thinking,
analyzing, worrying, and trying to do the right
thing for your relationship... most women never
recognize that they have been making a CRITICAL
MISTAKE all along in this "save the relationship"
process from the moment that bad "talk" took
place.
And they never figure out that this one
mistake they keep making is the thing that is
actually pushing the man in their life FURTHER
AWAY... instead of bringing him closer.
That mistake is simply trying to TALK your
way back into having a great relationship. Most
women think that talking things through is all
it takes to make things better.
They couldn't be more wrong.
What if I were to suggest to you that the best
way to save your relationship isn't more talking,
or sacrificing, or convincing, or even
criticizing?
It's figuring out how to INSPIRE your man by
doing the things and being the woman that made him
feel passionate about you in the beginning.
The best way to inspire your man is to let go
of the fears, resentments, over-functioning and
general negative feelings that got you to this
point in your relationship...
And then learn to bring back that warm,
feminine energy that drew him to you in the
first place.
But I have to be honest with you here.
If you're sitting there thinking that
transforming or saving your relationship has been
and will be HARD and UNPLEASANT, then you'll just
be standing in your own way.
No matter what I have to tell you, it's not
going to help you.
You'll just keep seeing everything you do as
"work" and you'll have a very bitter, negative
attitude whenever things don't change as quickly
or completely as you want.
Which will do ZERO to draw your man closer to
you and reconnect again.
It doesn't have to be hard at all.
Because if you're able to make a critical
psychological "shift" in the way you feel about
YOURSELF and your relationship, the changes that
need to happen are going to happen effortlessly
and naturally.
Here are a couple examples of what I mean:
Let's say you feel that you "do it all" in your
relationship, and you're always the one pushing
for more affection, more commitment, more
communication from your man.
What if you had a shift in thinking that
actually allowed you to do a whole lot LESS,
kick back, relax and then watch as your man
STEPPED UP to do his share in the relationship?
Essentially, what if by doing LESS, you could
get MORE?
Doesn't that sound a whole lot better than
doing more to get more (which may seem very hard
and difficult)?
There's a way to do this easily, and I'll tell
you how you can find this out in a second...
Let's also say that every time you get to a
certain point in a relationship, things start to
fall apart.
You don't feel great about yourself like you
used to, and the relationship starts to feel
"stale" in general.
It seems that you've given EVERYTHING to the
relationship, and yet, you're not happier and
neither is your man.
What could be the reason this happens?
Often it's because you're "losing yourself" in
the relationship.
That means you've stopped doing the things that
matter to YOU and that make YOU happy in order to
keep your man happy.
You stop exercising, you stop seeing your
friends, you stop doing things you used to enjoy,
like reading or taking long hikes on weekends.
On one hand, you think that because you've
sacrificed so much to make your man happy, he
really SHOULD be happier. Right?
WRONG.
The reality is that you've gotten out of touch
with what makes you happy, and that translates
into one important result:
You're out of touch with your own NATURAL
ABILITY to bring your man closer to you.
If you're not the same woman you used to be,
then you're not the same woman he fell in love
with.
It's as simple as that.
Know that there are specific techniques for getting MORE out of your relationship by doing and
demanding LESS.
You'll learn how to stay TRUE TO YOURSELF and
make your relationship better by getting back to
what makes you happy and fulfilled at the core.
You'll learn to "soften" and magically and
naturally inspire your man to adore you the way he
used to.
It's taken me years of researching,
interviewing experts in dating and relationships,
talking to hundreds of women, and reading
thousands of emails to finally put together a
program that helps you do the single most
effective thing you can do to save your
relationship.
And that is getting back to the "core" of who
you are and your natural, feminine self that
attracted your man to you in the beginning.
Getting back to the core of your most
attractive and inspiring self means letting go of
over-doing, over-worrying, over-analyzing and just
working too hard to keep things going.
If you've been in a relationship that's been
troubled for a while, you know how the fights and
disagreements can drag both of you down.
With "Relationship Turnaround", that can be a
thing of the past... for good.
to changing your relationship to be more loving,
more committed and more affectionate.
You'll feel better about yourself as a woman, and
your man will feel good being around you.
I'll talk to you again soon and best of luck
in Life and Love
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